Heroin by Julie O'Toole

Author:Julie O'Toole [O'Toole, Julie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Maverick Publishing Ltd
Published: 2012-02-02T16:28:32+00:00

I soon found myself locked up for six months again. I was only out of jail for three months when I was caught shoplifting again. I was a repeat offender, so as soon as I got in trouble, it was straight back into the 'Joy.

The judge said that I had my chance and that there were consequences for what I had done. He said I didn’t take the opportunity he gave me. I knew he was right, but what could I say? I just put my head down. I knew in my heart; I knew that I’d made a huge mistake.

I was going to prison now and not getting out for a long time. I started to cry as soon as the judge sentenced me.

I went through the same process as before. When I was taken into the jail, I got strip searched, showered, and all that. The first time was kind of unreal, like it was not really happening. The first time I was only on remand. But the second time I was really a prisoner, and I was put into a cell with other girls. I started screaming, ‘Get me out of this cell, get me out of this cell!’

There were three of us in the cell. Sometimes these girls could be a great laugh, but if you got on the wrong side of them, they’d eat you.

I remember lying there one night and thinking to myself. I knew my life was going really bad, but I didn’t know how to get out of it.

Ma came to see me the next morning. I broke down when I saw her. I remember screaming across the dividing bar. ‘Ma, get me out of here!’

Every day on the phone I was the same, ‘Ma, please get me out of here.’

‘I can’t get you out.’

It was as simple as that. I had to serve my time.

Ma brought me some clothes — I was allowed to have my own clothes cos I was a real inmate this time.

* * * * *

I remember the prison regime well. You got up at a quarter past eight, went down, got your breakfast and brought it back to your cell. You ate it in your cell back then. They don’t anymore. Now they have this big canteen where they all sit together. A lot of the drug users would just go down for tea because nobody ate early in the morning. We were all drug addicts, and drug addicts don’t eat until late at night. The cell door would be opened at a quarter past nine and you’d be out, standing in the yard smoking, messing with a ball or something, or sitting in the gym; just talking about nothing. It was usually all big talk. People saying, ‘We used to do this, and we used to do that and I used to do this and I used to do that.’ You know all that rubbish.

I hated that. Some of the inmates would be telling stories all the time, saying, ‘Ah yeah, we robbed this and we got this.

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